"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell..." Matchbox lyrics I live by.

 


Tucson:

Hotter than *ell, but the people are great

It has been a long road

    The last 5 months have taught me more about perseverance and hope than the last 5 years. Given my last 5 years that is saying a lot.

    Driving 26+ hours alone while still in pain, going to a new state you had only visited briefly 15 years ago to stay with extended family that were going remind you of some of your saddest and happiest memories every day, being what feels like light years away from your husband and children, was and is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
    
    I left Georgia at the end of June and drove in 2 days, by self to start this present assignment. The trip was long, painful, and mind-numbing. My add-on family that welcomed me unto their home and hearts when I got here have made all the difference. 

    My current Assignment is, so far, going well. Unfortunately, I live every shift with overwhelming anxiety that my contract will be cancelled, due to what happened in Maryland. Someday, I may write about everything that happened and all it has cost my family and myself, in time, resources, peace, and health, but not yet. I am not there yet.

    Let me just say this. I am grateful for the relationships outside of work I was able to make, they were God sent. Also, Karma is a true Christain principle, it just manifests differently in our belief, but I am a patient woman. I have every faith that all those who were involved in what happened will find themselves in a similar or worse situation and the universe will remind them then of what they did, or didn't do, when it was me.

Desert Sunsets still take my breath away

    Moving on, did you know just how many colors there can be in a sunset? I was blessed in my youth to live in New Mexico for a few years, and then in Nevada in my early 20s. There are two things I carry with me from these experiences.

    First, there is no part of my ancestry that has designed me for a hot desert climate and my body tells me this again and again while I am out here. From the cracked lips, and bloody noses, to the sunburns, dizziness, and respiratory infections my body tells me (along with my ancestors whispering in my ears) "this is not the place for you, move along now".

    Second, I love the desert. I love the sky, the rocks, the plants, the animals, and the mountains rising in the distance. I love the sunsets and sunrises that take you through a rainbow of colors and emotions. I love watching storms come and go in the distance and lightning that seems to illuminate the universe. So, I tell my body (and ancestors) to "chill out, I won't be here long." 

    I am absorbing every beautiful thing around me to get me over the home sickness and frustration that has been my existence lately. 

A good team goes along way

    As I said my anxiety with this new contract has been overwhelming. Luckily my co-workers and leadership on this new contract have been stellar so far. Now, please don't misunderstand, I get my work done and I take great care and effort with my patients. But these amazing people treat each other and all of us travelers with respect and that has made a lot of difference.

    A person can put up with a lot of logistical nonsense and inconvenience when you have the right people you are working with. This hospital (like all hospitals) is not perfect, but their team and their goals are.

Where I am going

    I apologize for taking a break from this blog while I was readjusting to my new circumstances. I am excited to tell you that I was still writing and look forward to telling you more about that in the future. For now, I am working on completing this assignment and looking forward to being back closer to my husband and children in October. I hope you will stick around and check back to see what other craziness life get up to. Till then.




    

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